


Catwalk of Doom

by dhapin



Category: Captain America (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Murder World - Fandom, Power Girl (Comics), She-Hulk, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The New Warriors - Fandom, X-Men (Comicverse), dr. doom - Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24597424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhapin/pseuds/dhapin
Summary: I just like Dr. Doom as I find him to be such a quintessential character.  Mostly a villain, and sometimes in the role of questionable hero.  But lately Marvel appears to have returned him to the villain role at the time of this writing.  This story takes place after the Fantastic Four vs. X-Men limited series, although issue four has yet to be published (damn virus).  I was conversing with LordGrise upon some topics and a phrase was said that generated this story.I was going to make this a chapter of my ongoing Doctor Doom storyline (Tango with Doom) but it really does not involve Illyana so I made it a standalone story.  Dead Pool was going to have a significant roll, but LordGrise detests Dead Pool and begged that I reconsider my selection.  I gave it some thought and… you’ll see.  And possible some minor fourth wall breakage because (Doom accepts no limitations!)
Kudos: 2





	Catwalk of Doom

Ended up being a bit longer then I planned but… (grin). I’ve also been watching many of the videos from Just Some Guy on Youtube as he has great commentary on films and comics and how certain story plots and adding personal to stories politics have wrecked Star Wars, Marvel and comics in general.

Keep in mind that I bought the A-Force Battleworld limited series (which I enjoyed) and actually bought the first few issues of the A-Force comic before giving up on it as the plotline was just so bad. I glanced at America Chavez but… yikes that was poorly done. Plus I liked Female Thor, right up to the time she was shown to be Jane Foster who I do not like as she’d become a Mary Sue kind of person. Apparently Marvel went on a binge of Social Justice Warrior (SJW) storylines in 2017-2018 only give up on many of them due to poor sales (hey, here’s a hint, pay attention to those who actually buy your products). And I’ve just learned that Marvel is now apparently killing off a second set of SJW inspired characters and plotlines because (soft whisper) that sales thing.

This is a humor piece, and also a bit of rant and a roast (I’m being sarcastic in this story), hope you enjoy.

**Part 4a: Repast and re-past**

It was supper time in Latveria, and in Castle Doom the ruler of Latveria, Doctor Victor Von Doom (A.K.A Doctor Doom) was partaking of his evening meal (tonight it was sausage stuffed cabbage, German Spaetzle noodles, roasted carrots, and fresh bread with dipping olive oil and vinegar). But Doom was not pleased as he glowered and pushed the half eaten meal away.

_“Is something amiss Lord Doom.”_ Asked one of his personnel servants.

_“No Anzil, Doom finds the meal to be satisfactory.”_ Was Doom’s grumbled reply. _“Doom is… annoyed at other things.”_

Other things being the recent events that had taken place on Doom Island, and the interloping X-Men and Fantastic Four; and Franklin and Valeria, the two children of Reed and Sue. Things… had not gone quite to Doom’s satisfaction. Doom, in private retrospection, would concede to himself that not all of Doom’s plan had gone the way Doom would have wished. But… few realized the true extent and subtlety of the plans of Doom. Doom gave an unseen scowl within his armor, certainly not the supposed intellect of Reed Richards.

No… in part he was… reminded of the lack of Valeria. She was but a child, but her presence was… missed at times by Doom. Especially, he confessed to himself, at supper time. Her childish enthusiasm had been… enjoyable to Doom.

But there were other irritants that the recent encounter had reminded Doom, one of which was… _“Garb.”_ Doom grumbled a complaint.

_“I fear I do not understand Lord Doom.”_ Was the servant’s answer.

Doom pushed his plate aside. _“Time for some mulled wine I think.”_

_“Certainly Lord Doom.”_ Was the reply as the servant withdrew to fetch the pre-prepared drink. What is mulled wine you ask? The recipe is simple, good red wine, some fresh oranges, cinnamon, some mulling spices like cloves and star anise, a touch of sugar and perhaps some brandy; gently heat and serve.

Once Doom had his drink in hand, and after a satisfied sip, Doom expanded upon his complaint.

_“Garb, tell me Anzil, why does Doom, and so many villains keep their garb unchanged year upon year?”_ Unchanged in form, not unwashed, except for the Wrecking Crew as washing was just not their thing.

_“I could not hazard an educated opinion my Lord.”_ Was Anzil’s reply.

Doom was in one of his rare expansive moods. After another sip he continued _. “Intellect, both in the dullardness of so many insipid villains, and conversely the dullardness possessed by so many of the heroic class. Imagine Anzil, how difficult life would be for intellectually challenged heroes if the villain dressed… differently from encounter to encounter. The quandary for some of them might be insurmountable, one can’t expect Einstein’s equations to be solved by the likes of Hawkeye. One supposes even the SpiderMan would be momentary rendered quipless if he had to constantly innovate with fresh material for unrecognized adversaries. Now the idiotic villainy class of course dresses the same, one images the concept of dressing is difficult enough for some of them, much less having to conceive of a new look. The more intellectual foes, having decided upon a look, does the average hero a curtsy by allowing ease of recognition.”_

Aznzil was a skilled servant of Doom, meaning one does not need to ask the Master a question when he was busy expounding upon a topic as one failing of Doom was he did so love the sound of his own voice. So… after a sip, Doom continued.

_“Yes, Doom has variants of his armor, but he finds the comfort that he provides his foes by adopting of a stand look to be a kindness… No… Doom is troubled by the garb of so many of the heroic class. They are… Dull. Insipid. Repetitive. Just… pathetic. Doom’s recent encounters on Doom Island has forced Doom to confront the dismal state of costuming that is the current state of affairs in our reality. Some are pleasing to the eye of Doom, but so many… irritate.”_

With that Doom drained his goblet, which Anzil promptly refilled. Doom rose and took his refilled goblet to his quarters. Anzil made a comment as Doom departed.

_“It is a shame Lord Doom, perhaps you should inform them of their deficiency.”_

Doom paused… then replied. _“Perhaps Doom should…”_

And that’s how it happened. If it happened that is. Meaning… was it a dream that was shared by so many of earth’s heroes, and some villains? It might have been the curse of eating spicy pizza or chili before going to bed as some thought.

Or maybe, it was Doom’s displeasure was shared with those who had raised his ire.

Whatever the cause, the result was… (dramatic drum roll).

**Part 4b: A tale we call… Doom’s eye for the heroic guise**

We see a large arena, roughly the size of a college basketball stadium with a much higher ceiling that has truly enormous big screens. Three sides of the arena has stands hosting the packed cheering throngs of all ages and genders. Instead of a floor there is a deep pool filled with ravenous sharks. From the wall that does not have any stands there emerges a long ramp that ends in a circulate platform about halfway across, somewhat shaped like a **P**. Also there is a long **U** shaped ramp that stretches two thirds across before looping back. And attached to the wall was a platform that had a piano on it with a piano player. The **P** and both sides of the **U** have doors.

The light dims, prompting the cheering to grow even louder as tall black man, dressed in an elegant purple suit steps onto the **P** ramp and begins to slowly walk to the end giving his trademark wide grin and waving at the crowd as an announcement blasts forth.

**_“Let’s give it up for your friend, and mine, Arsenio Hall!”_ **

Just as Arsenio reaches the circular platform at the end of the **P** he stumbles, gyrates wildly, and plunges screaming off the platform into the shark infested waters for a predictably quick but bloody end. The cheering crowds go silent with a horrified hush as the cause of the stumble is revealed.

A smallish man with prominent red hair, had been walking behind Arsenio Hall and had given Arsenio a less then helpful push. He’s dressed in a white leather three piece suit, green silk shirt, white leather gloves, white leather shoes, a massive yellow bowtie with red polka dots, and a red carnation in his lapels.

He gives a large evil grin as he states…. _“Opps… my bad. Guess that means Arcade will have to jockey this filly of a show. Hit it Barry…”_

With that the piano player begins to play Copacabana (at the Copa) by Barry Manilow, and sung as well, as Arcade dances about as the song plays.

_Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl_

_With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there_

_She would merengue and do the cha-cha_

_And while she tried to be a star_

_Tony always tended bar_

_Across the crowded floor, they worked from eight til four_

_They were young and they had each other_

_Who could ask for more?_

_At the copa (co) Copacabana (Copacabana)_

_The hottest spot north of Havana (here)_

_At the copa (co) Copacabana_

_Music and passion were always the fashion_

_…_

With that the music cuts off as the platform with Barry Manilow tilts and dumps him and the piano into the sharks, with the inevitable results as then the platform resets, while Arcade pulls a huge microphone from his suits inner pocket and announces. _“I said I wanted a hit act for my opening, like Beyonce or perhaps Lady Gaga, but nooooo. I got Barry so… so much for that. I mean… was that a good song for the likes of me? At the very least Live and let die would be a good choice but no… licensing issues. Well, enough of that. Hi-ya folks, welcome to Murder world!”_

Just silence that appears to irk Arcade as his left hand pulls a box with a button from his suit with his thumb over the button as he restates. _“I said… **WELCOME TO MURDER WORLD!”**_

Screams of delight that appear to satisfy Arcade as he puts the box away, button un-pressed as he continues with a satisfied grin. _“The amusement park that folks are just dying to visit. Book now, slots are going fast, but enough about the nightmare vacation of a lifetime. Normally this would be one of my do you want to play a game kind of show but not today, this special shindig is because Lord Doom, or Doomsie to his pals, came to me with a special request, begged me really.”_

Suddenly the armored visage of Dooms face fills the big screens. _“Get on with it little man.”_

Arcade gives a bow. _“Of course Doomsie, but my antics are the reason you have me here.”_

Suddenly, we see, and hear, a red and black costumed figure shout while waving a samurai sword as he runs out on the **U**. **_“Yo-ho! I got the memo! I’m here!”_**

Arcade turns with an evil smile. _“Good, Lord Doom has a special role that only you can fulfill Dead Pool.”_

And… you guessed it, the floor of the **U** suddenly opens and Dead Pool plummets into the pool of sharks while crying **_“Foul!”_**

Arcade wipes his gloves as he watches yet another victim get devoured by the sharks, note that Dead Pool did manage to stab a few sharks while being eaten. _“And with that appetizer out of the way, on to the fashion show, or, what I like to call, the **Catwalk of DOOM!”**_

More cheers from the crowd as Arcade announces. _“And our first contestant is Jubilation Lee. **Take it a way Ed!”** _As Jubilee struts down the **U** catwalk showing her stuff. She’s dressed in her trademark yellow jacket, blue gloves and shorts, pink shirt, and pink sunglasses as she glows a bubble of pink chewing gum.

**Part 4c: Jubilation “Jubilee” Lee**

The voice of Ed McMahon fills the Arena as Doom looks on. _“Thanks Johnny, Jubilation…”_

_“Arcade Ed, not Johnny.”_ Comments Arcade while suddenly waving that box with the button in his left hand.

_“Um… Sorry… Thanks Arcade, Jubilation Lee, A.K.A Jubilee, the B cup queen of side kicks, apart from some occasional artist renditions of her with a more generous chest’ll development. She’s been Wolverine’s side kick, she’s been the White Queens nemesis of a side kick, not to mention the long term snarky sidekick mascot to the X-Men and the Xavier school for irritating Mutants. She was a onetime vampire but now recovered from her ultraviolent allergies. Her current gig is… being sidekick to a baby where the baby has the better story arch, and she has a side business providing discount fireworks for children’s parties where she plays second fiddle to a fourth rate clown.”_

Arcade adds. _“Way to go sweet thing, talk about poor career choices. But what does Lord Doom have to say?”_

The verdict of Doom is rendered as the face of Doom recedes to show his seated upper torso. H holds up his right hand as he speaks. _“Denied, poor garmenting choices can be expected of the young, but one is supposed to grow out of immaturity. Dressing like a mall rat is one thing when one is a mall rat, but one is supposed to move on as time progresses. It is deplorable that Doom finds that you wear but one outfit, apart from sometimes dressing in black, and yet still with a yellow coat.”_

With that a thumbs down and Jubilee is flung screaming from the catwalk of Doom to her fishy demise.

**Part 4d: From one extreme to another**

A few giggles from Arcade before he continues. _“We started with the bad, now on to the good. Let’s give it up for a trio of X beauties!”_

Ed starts the intro as Storm, civilian name Ororo, struts onto the **U** in one of her countless costumes. _“Occasional goddess, full time X-Men, part time queen of various countries when she’s not to busy being full time X-Men or that goddess gig. From her ensemble you can tell this mutant knows how to dress, and to dress well.”_

We now see a flurry of different Storm costumes on the big screen TVs where Doom’s visage had formally been as Ed continues. _“All of which help demonstrate why this X-Woman leads the board with proposals of marriage.”_

Storm gets to the tip of the **U** and pauses, now the White Queen strides onto the **U**. _“But what is pepper without salt? Emma Frost embodies the name White Queen. Cold, distant, and dismissive, yet all the goodies plainly laid out for your viewing pleasure. The original practitioner of taking fetish gear and making it a villainous look. And graphically demonstrating that this baby has back. If there is one complaint is that almost all are colors are white.”_

Just as with Storm we now see a plethora of White Queen garments are shown on the big screens, then her black costume _. “But sometimes the queen of mean turns in her white duds and goes black.”_

We see Storm and Emma, side by side, giving various poises at the end of the **U** as the third X-Babe takes to the runway while Ed proclaims. _“But who is this that strides out? One would have expected the Jean of Grey, but no… we see something much more southern.”_

**It’s Rogue!** She saunters out in one of her many costumes as Ed comments _“We have soul food, new England chowder, and now biscuits and barbeque. Talk about finger licking good. Just like our other two beauties, Rogue knows the allure of a change of costume. Yes… the skin index is much reduced as our southern gal likes to cover up, but the lush tracks of land can see be observed even undercover. But not all the time.”_

The TV monitors show a plethora of images of Rogue in various status of undress, Bikinis playing a significant role.

Ed finishes. _“The only problem with this trio is the resulting eye strain. Or diabetic reaction from all the eye candy.”_

Arcade adds. _“Rackatastic! Babalisous! Can’t ever get bored of that! Even gay men are happy because the clothing is just… fantastic!”_

The visage of Doom is one again shown on the monitors. _“Doom is… pleased. Such variety shows the merits of a rich and detailed wardrobe.”_

Arcade finishes as the trio walks back on the **U**. _“We have our first winners! Or dare I say survivors! Who’s next Ed?”_

**Part 4e: Thief in the night**

**_“It’s Gambit!”_ **

Remy Etienne LeBeau strides onto the **U**. He’s dressed in his standard field costume and is twirling a six foot wooden staff (called a bo) with his right hand while shuffling a deck of cards with his left hand.

_“Remy Etienne LeBeau has been a long time fan favorite despite a back story in the service of the villainous Mr. Sinister. This professional thief was an early adaptor of a the full body costume, combined with the use of a trench coat gives him the custom look that he’s maintained to this day. Good looks and the tendency of drop various French phrases makes so many of the female gender just breathless over this notorious flirt. But… his costume does have one flaw due to an unfortunate foot perspiration issue.”_

Arcade holds his nose as he states. _“Foot odor. Remy, you’re from Louisiana. Hot and humid Louisiana, where you’re wearing a trench coat over your costume and heavy boots? Yuck! I pity Rogue when she helps take your boots off. Bet that means no foot massages for you!”_

The visage o Doom delivers his judgment. _“Bah… over dressed filthy peasant. Your look is old, and your knowledge of French language is lacking. Doom finds you… boring.”_ A downturned thumb and Gambit is dumped to the sharks, there are a few explosions as he resists, but Gambit is overcome.

A few tsks of regret from Arcade as he watches the growing pool of blood before asking. _“Ed?_

**Part 4f: Snikt**

Wolverine (Logan) runs out onto the **U,** he’s dressed in his classic brown costume. _“It’s your favorite staby and mine! **Wolverine**!”_

Wolverine pops his claws, with the standard snickt sound effect, and performs a few slashes, as he does this his costume changes color to his original yellow.

Ed continues. _“For a stealthy assassin, he made his debut wearing yellow of all things, one wonders just how observant his foes were as yellow is not a common foliage color. But yellow it was and it was good as Wolverine went from one minor gig to another until he made his sales breakthrough when he joined the X-Men. From there the sky was the limit as he went from one success to another. Team-up upon team-up, and an ever increasingly complex back-story. But fashion story don’t stop there, he favors western Canadian rugged civilian fashions, when he’s dressed that is! Our boy Logan is notorious for showing up naked in many a scene.”_

Logan’s costume fades away leaving just a naked snarling, and quite hairy, man.

A smirk from Arcade at the naked Wolverine. _“Talk about an eye full. Well… what does Lord Doom say?”_

From the tone of voice one could infer that Doom was scowling. _“An annoying little man who’s problem solving skills can be reduced to the desire to stab. But… his use of fashion is diverse and pleasing. And he is one of the few male heroes, or villains, that is striking naked or clothed.”_

With that the still naked Wolverine runs to the end of the **U**.

Arcade watches he go with a sigh _. “Ah… I just so love nature. Well… we’ve seen the Beast so I guess it’s time for Beauty.”_

**Part 4g: Grey**

Jean Grey sexily strides out onto the **U**. She’s dressed in her classic Marvel Girl green dress with a mask as Ed announces her.

_“It’s Jean Grey, or as she’d commonly referred to… **JEEEEEAAAAANNNNN**! She’s classic X-Men royalty. **JEEEEEAAAAANNNNN** s been around almost forever, in one form or another as, like so many a classic heroes, she’s died a few times. Think of it as fatal, but not serious. When not wearing her classic green costume, which is really just her favorite green dress from J.C. Penny, she can be seen in a blue and red full body armor costume, as shown in X-Men Red, that leaves everything to the imagination as she could be flat chested and here would no way of telling.”_

We now see a flurry of images of Jean Grey costumes on the monitors, many of the costumes are very skin tight and show that Jean is a well equipped gal. Some costumes are good, other are… bad, especially the X-Men Red getup, so very very bad.

Arcade gives a smirk. _“Always like those spray on costumes. But Ed, I think you left out the best of the bunch.”_

We now see various Jean Grey Phoenix images on the Monitor as Ed announces. _“That’s right Joh… Arcade. As Phoenix **JEEEEEAAAAANNNNN** created one of the most iconic looks ever. The classic green Phoenix with the golden sash, gloves and boots, exceeded only by the Red Phoenix incarnation.”_

Arcade opines. _“I always kind of dug the white Phoenix look. But however you dress it, the Phoenix was… is… hotness incarnate. Just loooovvvvveeee spray on costumes. But her black corset look with the Hell Fire club was also so… arousing. Can’t help but wonder at the fashion choices of her different dimensional daughter who’s look always shows up always red and pointy. But the only opinion that counts is Doomstie.”_

Doom visage returns. _“Ms. Grey, Ms. as death does end a marriage contract, has been varied over the years, but recently you have degraded into that atrocity of a red and blue armor before giving up and resuming your original, and uninspiring, first look. Doom is… un -enthused at your choices and he wonders at to just the why of those choices. With some regret Doom casts you forth, blame it on your return to the green dress.”_

With that Jean is dropped in the water with the sharks while both Arcade and Ed shout…

**_“NNNOOOOOOOOOOO, JEEEEEAAAAANNNNN!”_ **

They… might be acting a tad sarcastic.

**Part 4h: Next…**

A second person walk onto the **P** as Ed makes an announcement. “ _Joining Arcade is a special guest star. A man of lightning wit and scathing criticism. The man voted I can’t believe he’s not gay ten times running! Who? Just look at him, he… Fabulous! It’s **Mr. Sinister!** ”_

Mr. Sinister (also known as Nathaniel Essex) is dressed in his over the top costume (Google it if you don’t know what he looks like) as he ends up standing besides a less then happy Arcade as Mr. Sinister pulls out his own microphone, one blinged up with lots of rhinestones.

_“Thanks Ed, so happy to be here. The call of fashion policing is one I have often answered the call, ever since my creation Madelyne Pryor went of the rails as the Goblin Queen. I mean… just look what some of them are wearing! Or wearing in the case of Madelyne and her boy toy Alex. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Daddy was so disappointed. Not to mention the wonderment that Madelyne was not falling out of her top every third step, I mean, the potential for wardrobe malfunction was just astronomical. Now Arcade here gives a good show.”_ Mr. Sinister pats Arcade on his head, his scowling head. _“But really, when you need scathing wit and savage sarcasm, there is just one name that raises above all the rest. What can I say, I’m simply the best. Who’s next on this fashion circuit of death?”_

A purple leotard, large breasted, with purple hair, Asian woman saunters onto the **U** _._

Ed announces her. _“It’s Elizabeth Braddock, street name Psylocke, formally prim and prim English woman now in the body of a skanky Asian ninja hottie! And just look at that ass!”_

Many an image of Psylocke is shown on the monitors and her ass is very prominently shown, and her rather generous cleavage.

Mr. Sinister looks slightly aghast. _“How can we not? It gets more panel time in the comics then rest of her. I’ve heard it even get’s co-staring credits.”_

Mr. Sinister shakes his head and then throws out his arms theatrically. _“So sad, I mean… is this what comics are about? Luscious and gratuitous T and A? And endless hook-ups? What ever happened to…”_

And that’s when Arcade trips Mr. Sinister into the shark pool, then blows a kiss at Psylocke as Doom visage returns, gives just a nod of approval as Psylocke struts off while Arcade comments.

_“Which brings us to Hope, or the lack of if what she’s wearing is any clue.”_

**Part 4i: Hopelessness**

Hope Summers walks onto the **U**. She’s wearing her green full body costume with the yellow stripes and the tattered brown cloak/scarf/bib/baby blanket around her neck. She has long red hair and various weapons about her person.

Ed gives a summation of her. _“Former mutant savior and Phoenix wanta-be, now_ _reassigned to a supporting role because… nobody likes her. Yet another female redhead from Marvel in an endless attempt to create a Jean Grey replacement that was finally solved by, one again, bring **JEEEEEAAAAANNNNNN** back to life. Raised by Cable on time crossing journey left her mean and gritty, and deeply unlikable as she was simple another example of the Mary Sue that so many editorial efforts tend to create. And let us not forget that she was responsible for years of bad writing of Bishop, one of the few black male X-Men to actually be successful. And like so many such creations, rejected by the consumers she was fostered upon. Let’s look at a few of the published reader’s comments.”_

**REDDIT** : Ugh, I have such an irrational hatred of Hope. She was a pompous ass when she was on Utopia. She ended up siding with the Avengers after Cable, her father, came back to stop them. She with that scarlet witch (temporarily) destroyed the Phoenix, which also: WTF Marvel. She sided against the mutants and I irrationally hated it enough that I ended up not picking up another Marvel title.

**CBR Thoughts on Hope Summers Thread:** Unfortunately, there wasn't any need to create Hope given that they could have used Jean Grey or Rachel Summers-Grey in the role that she played.

Did we really need another redhead, green eyed, omega mutant with Phoenix potential and a fiery temperament when we have several of those already? Why was Hope used as the White Phoenix to bring mutants back when Jean is supposed to currently be White Phoenix in the White Hot Room? She could have been brought back to save the mutants instead of introducing yet another stand in for her.

Many aspects of Hope's story were repeats from previous stories. Cable raised her in the future similarly to how Scott and Jean raised him in the future. She had a Hell-ish childhood which helped her control the Phoenix just like Rachel Summers did. Her being able to channel other mutants powers is similar to Rogue, Synch and others with similar powers, etc.

**CBR Thoughts on Hope Summers Thread:** The character assassination done to Bishop was Hell enough for me…. Yes, the bishop thing was shocking. Him even going as far as to team up with Stryfe and blow up the entire world just to flush Hope and Cable out....this was one of the darkest X-men moments in recent memories.

**Everything wrong with Hope Summers:** The biggest, the one and only, complete failure that this character represents to me is that she is only here to be a thing. She is the almost literal Deus Ex Machina contrived by Marvel to write them out of the corner created by House of M and her influence has been felt through Messiah Complex, Second Coming, Schism and AvX. The entire reason for her character isn't like Wanda, Jean or David. She wasn't there to be a character first and a plot device second.

She was always the celebrated Mutant Messiah and in response, when she's around, the people we've been reading about for a lot longer, the characters we love and grew up with take a back seat to this irritating, self righteous Jean Grey Knock-Off.

What did she do on Utopia? She chewed out Magneto and Professor X. Men who survived the Holocaust and the Korean war, men who have been doing this crap for decades and who she waltzes up to as if she has all the answers and gives them crap for having an outdated view on things.

In AvX, she evades the best scanning equipment the Avengers and X-Men can put together using some battery powered thing she hobbles together at Radio Shack.

SO ON AND SO FORTH FROM THOSE WHO HATE HOPE

…

…

_“Well… back to the story…”_ Comments Arcade. _“What is the judgment of the all mighty Doomtie?”_

**_“Bah…”_** States Doom. _“Doom has better things to do then deal the likes of her. As fashion goes, Hope represents the worst of choices, and the most pathetic of names.”_

With a downturned thumb and Hope vanishes into to the maelstrom of the sharks, leaving just that annoying brown rag to float upon the bloody waters.

**Part 4j: Apple Pie**

A bit of a chagrined look on Arcade. _“Golly by gosh. Two poor choices in a row, however shall we recover?”_ Then a wicked grin. _“Any ideas Ed?”_

Ed answers. _“Having looked at some of the worse choices in heroic fashiondom, let us now go to one of the quality baselines himself!”_

Captain America strides upon the **U**. Shield held heroically forth and chin thrust out.

Ed continues. _“ **Give it up for**_ **Captain America!** _Life, liberty and the America way! Physical perfection combined with an unending fount of constitutional purity. Hunky male goodness mixed with yummy apple pie and beefcake on display. Appealing to both genders, why… he even once broke Hawkeye out of an enchantment by having Hawkeye stare deeply into his oh so blue eyes… so blue… so blue… Yes he almost never changes his uniform, but why should he? Once you’ve achieved perfection, any change is simply a step down. Why… Other then Thor, he was the first to be worthy to hold aloft Mjolnir before that came a thing where ever Tom Dick and Harry suddenly became fit to wield the hammer of Thor, as if…”_

Captain America (Steve Rogers) gives a few poises at the end of the **U** while many an image of him is shown on the monitors as Ed goes on.

_“Sometimes replaced yet always returned to. We’ve seen him aged, we’ve seen him replaced, he’s been a werewolf, we’d seen him turned into an evil Hydra version, but always we return the archetype that is Captain America despite so many editorial attempts to tear Cap down! The representation of the America we wish we were! Often copied but almost never well. Hmmm, can anybody say America Chavez… I mean please…_

_“Ed.”_ Mutters Arcade.

Ed is not listening. _“Let’s reimage Cap as a young Mary Sue lesbian Latina with two mommies from another dimension who just happens to have the last name of the commie Venezuelan dictator, talk about a sales black hole. And mixed messaging, on one hand the common liberal mantra is that one’s sexual preference is supposedly innate at birth, and yet we have two lesbian mommies here raising a lesbian daughter which is the nurture argument. Oh look, she’s rebelling… at what? If she was an honest rebelling teenager then to get her parents riled up she’d be wearing a MAGA hat and chasing every bad boy with a dick in sight while attending Trump rallies and eating meat.”_

_“Ed…”_ Mutters Arcade in an attempt to stop the rant. An attempt that fails.

_And leave the Falcon alone, what’s wrong with the Falcon being the Falcon? Why can’t a successful black hero be allowed to be a successfully black hero? And while we’re at it, leave black Aqua-Lad alone! Have you seen the preview for the re-imagined gay Aqua-Lad? Some rag of a political rant called You Brought Me the Ocean where they’ve renamed Aqua-Lad to some dude named Jack Haidass… I mean come on!_ **_Jake Hide Ass!?_** _Who lives in Arizona?! Leave the existing characters alone! Create your own damn…”_

_“ **ED!”** _Shouts Arcade as he finally manages interrupts Ed’s rants.

Ed sounds very contrite as he comes to his senses. _“Um… Sorry Arcade.”_

The visage of Doom returns to the monitors. _“Cap is to be commended. Fashion and ethics merged into one. Doom…. Approves.”_

Cap walks off as Arcade speaks. _“We’d seen the bad, we’ve seen the good, now time for some ugly.”_

**Part 4k: The man from brown**

A bald man dressed in a brown suit struts onto the **U**.

_“ **Xavier!** He’s faked his death more times then Wolverine has nailed a teammate. A pillar of the community, except when his inner dark side is either mentally or even physical abusing those whom trust him. Is it only just me who remembers what he did during the X-Men vs. the Micronauts? A man of principle, except again for the dark side that has slain billions and repeatedly mind fucked his students, when he isn’t actually fucking his students; again that whole Micronauts episode? I mean come on, Dani wasn’t even of legal age and don’t get me started about how young Rahne was. And what does the most talented telepath choose to wear? Brown. A brown two piece suit from Sears. His most daring fashion choices is the use of a pipe, now forgotten in these ani-tobacco times (why I suppose we need to place warnings on such comics if smoking is shown), and different wheelchairs.”_

Xavier looks annoyed and places the fingers of his left hand on his temple; and suddenly Ed changes his tune.

_“What…. no… that’s not right. Xavier, the most important man the world, beloved by all and the shining moral standard that we should all strive emulate. Why… I can’t imagine…”_

_“Enough of that.”_ States Arcade as he pulls another box with a button from a pocket and pushes the button.

Xavier jerks about as he gets a serial of nasty electric shocks, breaking his concentration. Ed sounds confused, and then resumes his prior, and accurate, descriptions of Xavier.

_“Um… where was I? Ahhh yes, he’s banged his students, he’s banged aliens, he’s banged Moiria. He’d probably banged you and you simple don’t remember because when in doubt mind wipe is a motto he lives by! After all, there’s a reason mostly people hold him in high regard (hint… telepathy… hint), speaker of noble words, just don’t look to close at his deeds. And there’s always some new back story showing yet again do as I say, not as I do ethics.”_

Many an image of Xavier is shown on the monitor and, yes, Xavier likes to wear brown a great deal.

_“He’d just a misspelling away from being a Savior instead of Xavier. He was bald before being bald was in. The original do as I say, not as I do man of the world. All this and he wears… brown. Even UPS drivers look better.”_

Doom and Arcade share a look and as Xavier stubbles to his feet he’s tossed to the sharks.

**Part 4l: Smerf**

Next very large blue man slowly walks onto the **U** as Ed announces him.

_“He’s big. He’s blue. But don’t think he’s just a Smirf with altitude. He’s Apocalypses!”_

Arcade waves at Apocalypse, who does not deign to notice him, as Arcade comments. _“Now that’s a name that just so announces that he’s serious._ _Punisher’s got nothing on this guy. But…”_

Arcade looks a tad sad. _“Fashion wise big blue is lacking. Yes he’s a villain so a consistent look is important, but… dude… time for a rethink.”_

_“Bah…”_ Speaks Doom. _“You best look in years is as a love pedaling hippie. Which is why Doom shall let you live. Tie-dye suits you Apocalypse, peace out.“_

Apocalypse turns and walks off.

**Part 4m: Ice Ice Baby**

And now Bobby (A.K.A Robert Louis Drake, A.K.A Iceman) comes sliding onto the **U** as Ed announces. _“ **It’sssssss Bobby!** One of the original big five, although really the big five are Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Beast and… the other two, the one with the wings and… Bobby.”_

Bobby is gliding about as he’s in his ice form and flaunting his figure a bit as Ed goes on. _“Fashion is not really Bobby’s thing. Yes he has many a costume, but in ice form they are all just under ice. For all we know Bobby Drake could be naked as a blue jay right now.”_

A statement that makes Bobby flash a big grin, and a wag of his hips. _“He’s all grown up and suddenly gay after a multitude of failed female relationships. We’re talking about the man who nailed the white queen, the playing with fire stud who did Mystique, one of the few who’s slept with Kitty and is not named Peter. So… One minute there’s forty years of hetro behavior in canon and the next, after a very suspicious talk from a certain pushy telepath (hint it was time displaced teen Jean Grey)which happened just after fourteen year old Bobby had done the cardinal sin of swiping her lunch, and Bobby boy is suddenly gayer then Benjamin Franklin on a three dollar bill wearing a just a thong while playing the saxaphone. There are super heroes who happen to be gay, and then there are big gay super heroes, guess which one’s actually sell comics? **Not our boy Bobby Drake!** No… not for him is the cold sellout of financial success…”_

Suddenly the ongoing roast one might say of the Iceman is interrupted as the Incredible Hercules himself steps onto the **U**. He’s big, he’s brawny, he’s oiled up as if ready for a wrestling match, he’s barely dressed and his hairy chest is on prominent display. The most concealing piece of clothing he’s wearing is a kilt so… not much concealed. Hercules is holding his mighty mace in his left hand, which all are welcome to handle unlike Mjolnir, and he’s appears to be sucking on a popsicle with his right hand, but just the stick can be seen emerging from Herc’s mouth.

Bobby ceases his antics as Hercules slowllllyyyyy draws forth a whitish blue popsicle from his lips. One, two, four, seven, ten, then twelve inches of popsicle are pulled forth from the mouth of the Incredible Hercules before finally, with a pop, the glistening end emerges.

Bobby looks… crestfallen as Hercules announces to one and all. _“ **Ahhhhh,** always enjoy a vigorous tonsil massage and the chilling of my throat, ignites a fire in my belly. Come gentle teammate! Let us test our mettle together in the embrace of hot combat! After our victory I shall teach you the nuances of Greek wrestling, but be warned, I’ll have to strip you down and oil you up.”_

With that the Incredible Hercules leaps into the swirling mass of sharks with the cry of _**“Hoy! Have at thee! Thou shalt eat my mace this very day and feel the might that is Hercules!”**_

Bobby looks at the camera and shrugs a kind of shrug that says ‘a guy’s got to do what a guy’s got to do’ and likewise leaps after Hercules in to the swirling waters which a whipped into a frothy foamy white mass by the ensuing activity within before finally subsiding.

Arcade looks surprised at what has just occurred. Very surprised. He glances up at the visage of Doom on the monitor and Doom’s body language likewise shows surprise.

_“Okayyyyyy….”_ Mutters Arcade. _“That did not go as planned. Hate it when things go off script.”_

**Part 4n: And so forth… (feel free to Google the images)**

And so it went on. Many a hero, and some villains walked the catwalk to be judged, and for some it was more of a plank as those found wanting plunged to the sharks.

**Kitty Pride** – Survived, her inability to find a good look was actually commented by Doom for both her insight in realizing when she crafted a bad look and kudos for her continual pursuit. Discreetly, a few phone numbers for some good fashion designers were passed on to her.

**Captain Marvel** – Went shark swimming. Her endless full covering up of all possible skin showing, plus the de-evolution from long haired sexy heroine to short haired sexless breast size reduced uno boob fascist. Plus bad plots and dialog. So bad… I mean… How many Number One First issues can you put out in an attempt to generate hype?

**Fantastic Four** – They were dissed, but Uncle Doom let them live. The Thing was quite distressed to learn that his “I’m wearing just shorts from now on” fashion choice was not met with approval. And Doom just sighed in regret over what Sue continued to wear.

**Inhumans** – Pffff, poorly dressed and insufferably smug. Fishy fate for everybody.

**Domino** – Sexy. Sometimes fully covered, sometimes cleavage shown, bare back, and legs on display. And a delightful tendency to wear something tight. Suffice it to say Doom approved. There was a comment about her always wearing black but… it worked.

**Sabretooth** – Went fishing. Good look at first… but now old. Tired. Predictable.

**Namor the Sub-Mariner** – The whole shark thing meant he survived. I mean… shorts. He wears shorts. Sometimes he has a shirt on, and looks better for it. And tossing him to the sharks would so not work so… he lived. Plus there was the monthly Poker game that Doom and Namor engaged in with… opps… that’s classified.

**Pixie** – Sigh… she lived. Doom is not one for the killing of baby seals.

**Nightcrawler** – Now that is an iconic look. Yes his basic look has not changed since his introduction but when one has achieved perfection, it is a sign of intelligence to not mess with it.

**Beast** – Hairy. Very hairy. Oh my God never ever let him use your shower or bathtub as we’re talking drain clogging hairy. Blue was a nice touch, and the saving grace was his ability to wear a suit well and cute reading glasses.

**Iron Man** – Different armor over time, ever improving apart from that regrettable Speedo Iron Man Armor attempt. So… no sharks for you.

**QuickSilver** – Sharks. I mean, not a chance for anything else. They just opened the door and tossed him to the sharks.

**Sebastian Shaw** – Well dressed but… pervy. Plus he killed Kitty Pride in the comics so to be eaten by fish was his fate.

**Tigra (Greer Grant Nelson)** – Was given a pass, even though her fashion style has been a itty bitty teeny tiny black bikini ever since she was introduced; but she is a cat person and you kind of need to show lots of skin, well… fur… to make sure the audience knows that. Mmmm, and the bikini does show off her nice… stripes in her fur.

**Vision** – Please… just look at him. Sharks. And was that Magneto slipping Doom a bribe on the monitors? Why… yes, Magneto so did not like the Vision, he preferred his daughter to not form emotional attachments with appliances, not toe mention engaging in sexual practices with them.

**Magneto** – Again, an iconic look. But white? Dude… Ditch the white garbs and go back to your original colors. So a sharkless fate, but a gift bag of purple dye.

**Electra** – Red… A ninja who wears… red. Good looking outfit but… red. I mean, we’re talking a ninja here, you know, the ones who hide in the dark? Rather hard to hid in shadows when you’re wearing red. Plus your current stories are oh so very bad so… to the fishies with you!

And so it went on…

**Part 4o: Green with envy**

_“Where were we Ed?”_ Mutters Arcade as he consults a list he’s pulled out of his pocket.

Ed announces the next contestant as Arcade tosses pages about. _“As we have seen, Avengers are far from immune to poor choices, but not the Sensational She-Hulk. Brawn combined with boobs, add a strong shade of green, and legs for miles. The only member of the Fantastic Four to rock the drab look that embodies Team Richard. Whatever she’s wearing, the She-Hulk wears it well, and unlike her cousin, she’s not obsessed with purple and selects clothing that does not result in gamma inspired wedgie rage events as we all know just why the Hulk is always angry. **Let’s give it up for Jennifer Susan Walters… A.K.A the Sensational She-Hulk, or dare we says the Sensuous She-Hulk!** ”_

Many an image of She-Hulk is shown on the monitors and just… wow! Especially the swimsuit shots. Talk about… huge tracks of land. Then, as spotlights shine down the She-Hulk strides upon the **U** as the song Simply Irresistible by Robert Palmer blasts forth.

_How can it be permissible_

_She compromise my principle, yeah yeah_

_That kind of love is mythical_

_She's anything but typical_

_She's a craze you'd endorse, she's a powerful force_

_You're obliged to conform when there's no other course_

_She used to look good to me, but now I find her_

_Simply irresistible, Simply irresistible_

_Her loving is so powerful, huh_

_It's simply unavoidable_

_The trend is irreversible_

_The woman is invincible_

_She's a natural law, and she leaves me in awe_

_She deserves the applause, I surrender because_

_She used to look good to me, but now I find her_

_Simply irresistible, Simply irresistible_

_Simply irresistible (She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went)_

_Simply irresistible (She's all mine, there's no other way to go)_

_…_

Or does…

** She? **

A brutish, mannish figure, with massive bulging arm and leg muscles, grunts its way onto the **U**. Thuggish and square in figure, combined with a top that hides breasts so small that even Jubilee would look like a double D in comparison, way way below an A cup size. And don’t think the figure is of a body type that any boy, or man, would be putting on a poster and placing on the way (heterosexual or homosexual). And somehow… one doubts the woman who wear soft shoes (the L word) would be turned on by this.

The music ends with a harsh squawk as Arcade drops his notes from his numb fingers, fluttering into the waters below, as the hulking figure makes its thudding way to the end of the **U**.

Ed gives us the rundown as what the hell has just happened. _“But lately, she’s degraded to just a mannish looking creature that you have to proclaim as the She-Hulk in order to identify gender. Sexless and suspicious hints of a crotch bulge. Does anybody remember Boy-George? No… well good. The ultimate example of removing sexiness from a female character, even worse then Captain Marvel and her endless relaunches.” What is with the trend to have flat chest’d female heroes covered head to toe with only a face shown? And sometimes not even that.”_

**_“Jennifer!”_** Cries out a heart broken Arcade (he had a secret crush on She-Hulk and is aghast). _**“What has become of you?”**_

Doom’s visage again fills the monitor and his armor is frowning with rage. _“ **Enough!** Doom has found the cause of his garmentory melancholy. This has the stink of external manipulation and nobody manipulates _DOOM _! **Let the true authors of this travesty stand forth!** ”_

**Part 4p: SJW(s)**

The door opens and a cluster of woman and men are herded onto the **U** by a group of Star War’s Storm Troopers. It is a horde of editors, writers, and even artists from Marvel, and some from DC. They are protesting this treatment with many a comment and a few are filming with their cell phones.

**_You can’t do this…_ **

**_Don’t you know who I am?!_ **

**_I am so going to blog about this!_ **

**_Harassment!_ **

**_How dare you intrude upon my personal space!_ **

**_Triggered! I’m being triggered!_ **

**_Now we see the violence inherent in the system!_ **

**_How dare you use the incorrect pronoun to address me!_ **

**_I refuse to conform to your binary assignments!_ **

**_Guns! OMG! Guns! Can they do that?!_ **

**_I’m calling my lawyer!_ **

**_Of course their wearing white! What other color would you expect?!_ **

**_Help! Help! I’m being repressed._ **

**_Blocked! I’m blocking you on Twitter!_ **

**_I will not be suppressed!_ **

**_This is all being recorded! You are so busted!_ **

But a few blaster shots shut them up as Storm Troopers can surprisingly shoot well when folks are not protected by plot armor. They are herded to the end of the **U** with the She-Hulk as Doom bellows. **_“Idiots! Answer Doom as to the meaning of what you have done to the She-Hulk! And to others! Is this why Bobby Drake has suffered a character derailment?!”_**

Many an answer is shouted at Doom, while a few attempt to hi-five Jennifer who pays them no mind and just grunts, but one comment was quite prominent. **_“Those stories are not written for you!”_ **

Arcade pulls out a Luger and twirls it about as he asks. _“Welll then, just who are they written for?”_ Trigging a plethora of answers.

****

**_Girls!_ **

**_Woman!_ **

**_Trans!_ **

**_Woke folk!_ **

**_Gays!_ **

**_Lesbians!_ **

**_Non binaries!_ **

**_Those who don’t want sexualize woman!_ **

**_Oppressed minorities!_ **

**_New readers!_ **

**_Social Justice Warriors!_ **

**_People like me!_ **

**_Not people like you!_ **

****

Arcade frowns. _“You mean, not the current customers?”_

A voluminous **_“NO!”_**

_“How’s that working out?”_

**_“The critics love it!”_ **

_“Oh… like the new Doctor Who?”_

**_“YES!”_ **

****

_“And… sales?”_

A rather weak reply. _“There are more important things then sales.”_

Arcade’s answer just drips sarcasm. “ _Really… Because sales, or to be blunt, lack there of, indicate that… the people you’re writing for don’t actually buy your products. And your historical customers are less then pleased with your unappetizing SJW offerings. You are aware you work for a for profit company… right? You do that that the complainers on Twitter don’t actually represent your sales base? Right?”_

The SJWs do not agree. ** _“Death to capitalism! Death to the Patriarch! Reinvent all characters as woman or minorities! If they have to be male, and white, make them gay! De-feminize! De-sexualize!”_**

****

Then they burst into song:

****

**_We are woke_ **

**_Hear us roar_ **

**_Sales we can ignore_ **

**_For indoctrination will not be denied!_ **

****

**_We will not head the call_ **

**_Continuality will fall_ **

**_Social Justice will come to rule all_ **

**_And the works of Stan Lee will be burned away…_ **

And that’s when Marvel’s The New Warriors burst in to save the day! We have:

**ScreenTime** – A Meme-Obsessed super teen whose brain became connected to the internet after becoming exposed to his grandfather’s “experimental internet gas.” Now he can see augmented reality and real-time maps, and can instantly Google any fact. Does this make him effectively a genius? He sure acts like it does.

**Snowflake and SafeSpace** \- Psychic Twins. All twins are psychic, but we’re psychic-er. Snowflake, a cryokinetic, can materialize snowflake-shaped shuriken projectiles for throwing. Safespace can materialize pink force fields, but he can’t inhabit them himself, the reflex only works if he’s protecting others. They’re hyper aware of modern culture and optics, and they see their Super Heroics as “a post-ironic meditation on using violence to combat bullying.” Safespace is a big, burly, sort of stereotypical jock (with pink hair), Snowflake is non-binary and goes by they/them (with blue hair).

**B-Negative** \- A teen “living vampire” exposed to Michael Morbius’s blood as a child in a rogue, but life-saving medical procedure. He still ages like a regular kid, but has all the abilities of Morbius. He’s also obsessed with all the music and attitude of a “classic” long-past decades like the '90s, and the '00s. “The world is a vampire…and so am I.”

**TrailBlazer** \- A regular kid scooped up into the world of teenage Super Heroing. Her “magic backpack” is actually a pocket dimension with seemingly infinite space, from which she can pull out useful or random objects, it’s not always under her control. She claims to get her power from god, but “not the god you’re thinking of.”

****

**Google them and seen the wonder that Marvel has created!** On sale soon so get out your money and reserve your copy now! (Author’s note, the above description are taken verbatim from Marvel’s web site. And gee, the only white person is a vampire? Talk about being subtle.)

A pink force field is projected and the SJW of comics are saved! As Snowflake shout’s **“Not today Arcade!”**

Or… not as Arcade just puts his face in his hand as the power inhibitors prevent The New Warriors from expressing their powers as he mutters. _“Like that would work. What part of power inhibitors did you not understand? I mean… do you think the others just stood there?”_

Arcade explains. _‘Okay kids, let me break it to you gently. Murder World is for real heroes. Contenders. Folks who have sales. Now sometimes Murder world is used to thin the flock of characters that have not caught on and all they can hope for is a heroic death, but usually you have to be A or a B lister. You’re… just not worthy of my time. You need some street cred first before you get to waltz in here and challenge me. I’d feed you to the sharks, but frankly shark’s don’t eat crap. And… dear God, just who the heck dressed you? Kitty Pride?”_

A snap of Arcade’s fingers and The New Warriors are teleported away. _“Let’s see how you handle a D lister first before taking on the A list kiddies.”_

And with that The New Warriors faced…. Paste Pot Pete (also known a the Tapster)!

We see the battle on the monitors. They faced the villainous foe and… died.

Died badly.

Died quickly.

Died as such characters, without plot armor, just don’t stand a chance.

Died as such contrived creations just don’t sell.

Just… died.

Arcade had the grace to try to look embarrassed at the poor showing of The New Warriors, but doesn’t quite pull it off.

**_“ENOUGH!”_** Thunders Doom as his vestige returns as he bellows at the SJWs. **_“Let those you maligned be your judges!”_**

**Part 4q: Judgment of DOOM**

The door at the end of the **U** opens and… Harley Quinn of all people comes out. She’s dressed in the sexy getup she wore in her first film (Google it and like… wow); skin tight blue and red short shorts, a torn white tee-shirt that shows she definitely has breasts. She’s chewing gum and has a baseball bat over her shoulder.

She gives a wave and a friendly _“Hi-ya!”_ Before a snarl erupts from her lips. _“You dressed me in overalls in my second film. **Overalls!** I’m Harley Fucking Quinn, not some maintenance repair man! And you make it some kind of weird chick flick, just like ya’s screwed up the latest Charlie Angels flic.”_

She runs down the **U** and with a swing of her bat one of the SJWs go splat and into the sharky waters. _**A villainous trollop sex symbol does not dress in overalls!”**_

****

Another swing sends another to their sharky fate. “ _Just look at the Cosplay industry… are all the Harley want’abees wearing overalls? ** NO! **They wana to be sexy bad girls! Why else are so many Catwoman Cosplay scanks at da conventions! Not every getup has to show skin to be sexy, but for crying out loud, you folks want to reduce us to no skin and even a mono boob!”_

A second female strides out and joins Harley on the **U**. She’s white, blonde, wearing a white leotard that show off her legs, has a red cape, but where once there was a boob window showing off her very generous cleavage, here is now a red S that conceals the massive acres. It’s… Power Girl and she’s pissed. _“When you let us have boobs. I mean… I’m well equipped. Some girls just come that way, but noooo… can’t show of the boobage anymore. I mean… do you know how many villains I’ve defeated because they got distracted. I’m not one of DC’s heavy sales hitters damn it! I need all the help I can get and now you’ve taken away one of my secondary powers!”_

Harley, who has been, shall we say, somewhat distracted by the jiggling cleavage of Power Girl, inquired _. ‘What? Laser nipples?”_

A shocked look from Power Girl at the idea. _“No… hypnotic cleavage!”_ As a flash of her eye beams fries a few more SJWs.

Harley tosses a comment at the She-Hulk. _“What’s ya say Jennifer? Happy with what these slime holes have reduced you to?”_

A scowl on Jennifer’s manly vestige as she attempts to understand (another of the alterations of the She-Hulk is she’s now mentally slow when in Hulk form). Then her unibrow rises in understanding of what she’d become as, with a cry…

**_“HULK SMASH!”_ **

And she does just that and thus… the SJWs of Marvel and DC were no more.

Harley’s face fills the camera frame. ** _“I’m Harley Fing Quinn, and I approve this message!”_**

**Part 4r: Woke…**

Arcade groggily came too. He’s in his underwear (She-Hulk underoos for those who care) and is sprawled in bed, the remains of a triple anchovy pizza on the floor, and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels next to it.

_Man…_ Arcade thought. Talk about a crazy dream.

**Part 4s: Somewhere… somewhen…**

An armored figure sits at a desk, drinking from a wine glass, the glass is drained then words are spoken.

_“It was… is… and will always be… **DOOM who pulls the strings!”**_


End file.
